How to Tell a Spouse About Hidden Debt

If you have hidden debt from your spouse, you may be afraid to tell him about it. Hidden debt can signal distrust and a lack of communication in your marriage. It is important to be open with your spouse about the debt you have. It can affect your credit score and ability to find a mortgage. It is better to come clean about the debt before your spouse finds out through other ways or you apply for a joint loan.

Instructions

1

Gather all of your hidden debt account information. List the amounts you owe, the interest rates and payment amounts on a piece of paper. This list will help you to be completely open with your spouse and give her a full account of the debts you have had.

2

Schedule a time to talk to your spouse when it is not stressful or you are in a rush. This discussion will take time and should not be interrupted once it begins. It should take place in a private place so your spouse has a chance to process his emotions.

3

Begin your conversation by telling her how sorry you are, and how you have felt bad for hiding this information from her in the past. Then explain that you want to start over and be open with her from now on.

4

Explain that you have hidden some debts that you have accumulated from him. Tell him the total amount of all the debts, then explain when they were acquired. If it was before you got married, explain why you hid them once you were married. If it was after marriage, you need to explain that as well.

5

Answer any questions your spouse may have regarding the debts. Be open to answering questions after the discussion has ended, because your spouse may need extra time to process the information.

6

Ask your spouse what you can do to remedy the situation and to gain your trust again. Offer to go to marriage counseling and to work together on the finances. Be prepared to stop using any of the credit card accounts you had open in the past and commit to never hiding this type of information again.